he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
