Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
