at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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