Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
