I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
