Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
