All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
