yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I looked at my own cervix.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
