the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
