Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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