Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize