whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
