plz talk dirty to me
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Randomize
