well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
