I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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