i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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