I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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