I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
