Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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