Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
