'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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