also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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