You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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