she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
