Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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