can u get pink eye on your cock?
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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