I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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