i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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