I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
