can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize