she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Let's paint friendship bongs
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
