So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
