If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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