am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
