Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
