are you so shy because you have an std?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize