she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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