Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
