I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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