BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize