took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
there is glitter all over my balls
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