Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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