highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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