MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
