I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
