I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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