Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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