Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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