nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
