Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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