It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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