Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Randomize
