So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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