But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
