If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
