guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Randomize
