Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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