So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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