This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
