It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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