We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
