Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
