I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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