I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
