Whod you bang
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
