It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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