Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
