Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
