he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
