is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
