Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
